From the Introduction

PREPARATION FOR THIS BOOK began at age seven, when I was awakened in the middle of the night by the lady from down the street. She was standing outside our window crying out to her husband Freddie, the man we called Daddy — the father of my four younger siblings.

 “Stop messing-around with that woman and come home!” she demanded. No doubt the neighbors heard her. I was terribly embarrassed for my mother but even more so for Freddie’s wife. I felt as though it were I standing outside there crying out.

Though Freddie remained silent, his wife’s words found a home in my heart and birthed a strong resentment toward infidelity, manipulation, and abuse. Little did I know that four years later my mother would be deceased and I’d be living in an orphanage, waiting for a foster home along with scores of other children. Many of those children were the victims of infidelity, manipulation, and abuse.

Today, in addition to being a survivor of the foster care system, my life experiences have afforded me a unique perspective on caring for hurting, neglected, and disenfranchised people. After examining the history of foster care in this country and comparing it to recent efforts by industry “experts,” it seems clear to me that without a major paradigm shift, the cries of children standing outside the foster care system’s windows will have little impact on the adulterers who cuddle between the silk sheets of business, locked in a love affair with the money that should go to these children.

Freddie did not father my older sister and me, yet we called him Daddy simply because of his lengthy affair with our mother. Although we were aware of his adultery we never agreed with it. In fact, we hated that it had to be that way. Still, it felt good to have a man in the house
 

Today, similarly, there are scores of precious child welfare practitioners who, amidst the cries of children standing on the outside, are forced to sit in silent witness to the system’s infidelity. They recognize that their own  relationship with the system, though cordial, is sometimes less than kosher.  

My hope, is that many of these who despise infidelity and manipulation as much as I do will courageously profess that, despite recently implemented policy changes,  the heart of the problem (infidelity) remains untouched. We must fashion a system that fosters fidelity in caring for others. As long as money and prejudice continue to fuel the soaring climate of “self-directedness” there will be little incentive to push for the kind of self-denying, other-directed policies that will facilitate situations that are best for children and families.

Some years back, while speaking at a foster care conference, I was asked what I thought might be the greatest problem facing young people in the future. I replied, “Inconsiderate, unstable, self-seeking adults.” God only knows to what extent the ills of many cities and nations derive from prospering at the expense of its orphans. And because all wickedness is birthed in selfishness, it is imperative that we hold to the biblical view of care for displaced children and needy families, to protect and service their needs and build healthier communities and relationships.

The aim of this work is to emphasize both the power of fidelity and “other-directedness” (resolve to act only after considering the well-being of others) and the necessity of approaching relationships, especially involving displaced children, from a biblical rather than a business perspective (which is often the case).

I contend that failing to do so will continue to perpetuate negative models that affect all human relationships.

A Heavenly View of Displaced Children is a directive to those who have “ears to hear,” aimed at breaking the strongholds of selfishness that lock out truth and deprive needy children and families of provisions allocated by God. It impels us to promote fidelity by embracing and sharing God’s view of care, and by seeing children (particularly displaced children) not just with our eyes but with our hearts—not as business opportunities but as our collective responsibility.

 After finishing this book you will:
 
 •   Understand the root causes and chronic nature of the foster care crisis.
 •   Understand why the business of foster care must be distinguished from other kinds of businesses.
 •   Be better equipped to recognize many root causes of conflict and anger in children and feel more confident in your ability to assist them.
 •   Be challenged to find new ways to express your faith through active involvement with foster/needy families and be invigorated to lift your voice in support of                better provisions for them.
 •   Discover the power of other-directedness and how it benefits children, families, and marriages.